Little Johnny was a lazy student and was failing Math badly.
His parents had enough of this, so they pulled him out of regular school and enrolled him in the local Catholic school.
After the first day, he came home and not a word, and headed up to his bedroom to do his Math homework.
He was up there four hours until it was all done.
The same thing happened the next day,and so on.
Several days later, his parents came up to his room and asked, “Johnny, what brought this on?
Your working your tail off!” Johnny replied,
“When I got to my Math class on Monday, and saw that guy above the blackboard nailed to a plus sign, I knew they weren’t messing around”!
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Bill pulled up a stool at his favorite bar and announced
Bill pulled up a stool at his favorite bar and announced,
“My wife Suzie must love me more than any woman has ever loved any man!”
The bartender inquired. “What makes you say that?”
Bill explained, “Last week, I had to take a couple of sick days from work.
Suzie was so thrilled to have me around…”
“That every time the milkman or mailman came by,
she’d run down the driveway waving her arms and hollering,
‘My husband’s home! My husband’s home!’”