A man and a woman on a train . . .
Though initially embarrassed and uneasy over sharing a cabin, they went to bed, he in the upper berth and she in the lower.
At 1:00 AM, they were both still wide awake and they both knew it.
He said, “I’m sorry to bother you, but would you be willing to reach into the closet under your bed to get me a second blanket? I’m awfully cold.”
“I have a better idea,” she replied. She added, “Just for tonight, let’s pretend that we’re married.”
“That’s a great idea!”, he said, now totally aroused.
“Good,” she replied. “Get your own fucking blanket.”
After a moment of silence, he farted and didn’t care.
A lady was intrigued by these alligator boots she’s heard about
She went to a shoe store and asked for it but was taken aback by the sheer price. “Why the fuck would this pair of shoes cost 40 times more than any regular shoes?” She exclaimed.
Offended by the lady’s ignorance, the storekeeper snapped at her, “If you want it cheap, go and fetch the ‘gator yourself!”
“Fine! I’ll do it!” Yelled the lady as she walked outside and slammed the door shut.
After a few minutes, the shopkeeper felt bad and wanted to find the lady and apologize. He went to look for her, and finally found her in a river, wrestling an alligator. On the river side, two alligators laid dead. After a short struggle, the lady managed to defeat the third alligator and lifted its entire body out of the river. “Damn it!” She exclaimed. “This one’s not wearing boots either!”