After thirty years of marriage a husband and wife go for counseling

When asked what the problem is, the wife goes into a tirade listing every problem they had ever had in the years they had been married.

On and on she goes: neglect, lack of intimacy, emptiness, loneliness, feeling unloved and unlovable—an entire laundry list of unmet needs she has endured.

The woman shuts up and quietly sits down as though in a daze.

The therapist turns to the husband and says, “This is what your wife needs at least three times a week. Can you do this?”.

“Well, I can drop her off here on Mondays and Wednesdays, but on Fridays, I fish.”

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A teacher was teaching her class

A Sunday school teacher was teaching her class about the difference between right and wrong.

“All right children, let’s take another example,” she said.

“If I were to get into a man’s pocket and take his wallet with all his money, what would I be?”

Little Johnny raises his hand, and with a confident smile, he blurts out, “You’d be his wife!”