A wife asks her husband: “Honey, if I died, would you remarry?”
Taking a moment to reflect, the husband responds, “After a considerable period of grieving, I guess I would. We all need companionship.”
Curiosity lingers as the wife inquires further, “If I died and you remarried,” the wife asks, “would she live in this house?”
With a thoughtful nod, the husband explains, “We’ve spent a lot of money getting this house just the way we want it. I’m not going to get rid of my house. I guess she would.”
Continuing her line of questioning, the wife asks, “If I died and you remarried, and she lived in this house,” the wife asks, “would she sleep in our bed?”
The husband’s eyes meet hers, “Well, the bed is brand new, and it cost us $2,000. It’s going to last along time, so I guess she would.”
A mischievous glint in her eye, the wife adds one final twist, “If I died and you remarried, and she lived in this house and slept in our bed, would she use my golf clubs?”
Laughter fills the room as the husband playfully retorts, “Oh, no,” the husband replies. “She’s left-handed!”
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A man is talking to the family doctor, “Doc, I think my wife’s going deaf.” The doctor answers, “Well, here’s something you can try on her to test her hearing. Stand some distance away from her and ask her a question. If she doesn’t answer, move a little closer and ask again. Keep repeating this until she answers. Then you’ll be able to tell just how hard of hearing she really is.” The man goes home and tries it out. He walks in the door and says, “Honey, what’s for dinner?” He doesn’t hear an answer, so he moves closer to her. “Honey, what’s for dinner?” Still no answer. He repeats this several times, until he’s standing just a few feet away from her. Finally, she answers, “For the eleventh time, I said we’re having MEATLOAF!”