A older man and young girlfriend

An older, white-haired man walked into a jewellery store one Friday evening with a beautiful young girl at his side.

He told the jeweller he wanted a special ring for his girlfriend.

The jeweller looked through his stock and found a $5,000 ring.

The old man said,
“No, I’d like to see something much more special.”

The jeweller went to his special stock in the safe and brought another ring
back.

“This one’s $40,000.”

The young lady’s eyes sparkled and her whole body trembled with excitement.

The old man said, “I’ll take it!”

The jeweller asked how payment would be made, and the old man said,

By check, but I know you need to make sure my check is good, so I’ll write it
now, and you can call the bank on Monday to verify funds. I’ll pick up the ring on Monday afternoon.”

Monday morning, the jeweller called the old man saying,

“There’s no money in that account!”

The old man said,

“I know I know, but let me tell you about the weekend I just had!”

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Husband gets home and tells his wife

Husband gets home and tells his wife

“quick, get me a beer before it starts.”

She gets the beer. He chugs it and says “quick, get me another before it starts.”

She obliges. Husband again chugs it and says

“quick, get me another beer before it starts.”

The wife replies “if you want another beer you lazy bastard get your fat ass up and get it yourself!”

Husband murmurs “shit, it started.”

 

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