A little girl says to her mother: “Mummy, when you were away at work a strange lady came around”…
“Not now,” says Mummy. “Wait until Daddy gets home.”
So they wait until Daddy gets home, and then Mummy says “Now dear, what were you saying about Daddy and the strange lady?”
And Daddy starts to say something but Mummy says, “You keep quiet – I’ll be talking to my attorney in the morning. Carry on, dear.”
“Well,” says the little girl, “Daddy told me to stay downstairs while they went upstairs, but I followed them without Daddy seeing me, and I saw them hugging and kissing at the top of the stairs. Then they went into your bedroom and shut the door, but I went up and looked through the keyhole.”
“Clever girl,” purrs Mummy. “What could you see through the keyhole?”
“I saw them hugging and kissing some more, and then they started to take each other’s clothes off, and they carried on until they had nothing on, and then the lady got on the bed and Daddy got on top of her.”
“Yes?” says Mummy. “And then what happened?”
“Then they did what you and Uncle Jack did when Daddy was in Vancouver last year,” says the little girl confidently.
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Daughter’s text to Dad: Daddy, I’m coming home to get married soon, so get your checkbook ready.
LOL! As you know, I’m in Australia and he’s in the US. We met on a dating site, became friends on Facebook, and had long chats on WhatsApp.
He proposed to me on Skype and now we’ve had a 2 month relationship through Viber. Dad, I need your blessing, good wishes, and a really big wedding. Lots of love, Lilly.
Dad’s reply: Dad’s reply: My dear Lilly, Like Wow! Really? Cool! Whatever…
I suggest you two get married on Twitter, have fun on Tango, register for your stuff on Amazon, and pay for it all through PayPal. And when you get fed up with this new husband, sell him on eBay. Lots of love, Dad.