A couple have not been getting along for years, so the husband thinks, “I’ll buy my wife a cemetery plot for her birthday.”
Well, you can imagine her disappointment. The next year, her birthday rolls around again and this time he doesn’t get her anything.
She says, “Why didn’t you get me a birthday present!?”
He replies, “You didn’t use what I got you last year!”
Story: There thieves
An elderly couple was just settled down for bed when the old man realized he left the lights on in the greenhouse in the backyard. Then they heard voices. Three men had broken into the greenhouse.
Scared, they called the police. The dispatcher replied he would send an officer as soon as one became available as they were all out on calls.
The old man waited for a few minutes and called Dispatch again. He told Dispatch,
“Don’t worry about sending an officer, I sh*t the robbers and now the dogs are e*ting their bodies!”
In no time at all, police were all over the place and captured the robbers red-handed!
One of the cops asked the old man,“I thought you said you shot the robber and your dogs were eating them. “
The old man replied, “I thought you said, there weren’t any officers available.”